To Drown a Fish
by ThisUsernameIsVeryCreative
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have a huge fight about trust and Kurt stops talking him, right in the middle of a time where Blaine needs him most... Kurt/Blaine. Rated M for safety. Warnings inside.
1. When I Fall

**Pairings:** Kurt/Blaine

**Warnings:** Slash, abuse, themes of suicide, OOC characters, and not very good grammar.

**Summary:** Kurt and Blaine have a huge fight about trust and Kurt stops talking him, right in the middle of a time where Blaine needs him most...

I've only seen a few episodes scattered here and there, so I kind of don't really know what's going on but I have basic ideas haha. Hopefully it's not too off. :] And I know my grammar is terrible so don't bother. :P Oh and I haven't written a fan fiction in a couple years so it's probably going to be terrible haha.

btw, I get my titles from the comic called "One Halfed" on Smackjeeves.

xx

**TO DROWN A FISH**

_Chapter 1: When I Fall_

The two were watching a movie in Kurt's bedroom, when Kurt put his arm around Blaine's shoulders, who flinched slightly and stiffened. Kurt noticed his breath hitch, so he hesitantly removed his arm. Blaine's head turned sharply towards Kurt in surprise and held in a wince as the sudden movement caused pain. Kurt didn't seem to notice.

"Blaine..." Kurt's scrutinizing tone nearly made Blaine flinch again. His eyes held worry in them but his frown made it obviously clear he was not pleased. "Blaine, every time I touch you, you flinch. If it's something I did—"

"—No!" Blaine interrupted, the sudden determination in his voice shocked Kurt for a brief moment. "You didn't do anything, I promise. It has nothing to do with you, so don't worry." Blaine attempted a reassuring smile, but it was noticeably forced.

Silence.

Suddenly Kurt stood up, movie forgotten, and yelled out in anger. "Then what is it? If it has nothing to do with me, you should have no problem telling me right? Are you keeping secrets? Don't you trust me Blaine?" He sat down on the bed as he calmed, his expression held misery. He whispered, "Don't you trust me Blaine?"

One look at Blaine's guilty look said volumes.

He shot up in anger once more, immediately assuming the worst, "Are you cheating on me? Huh Blaine, is that it? Am I not good enough for you anymore?"

At this Blaine shot up too, but not in anger. "NO! No, no, no, that's not it at all! Why would you— how could you— how could you even think that?" He asked quietly, his face displaying betrayal. Once again, Kurt didn't seem to notice.

"All the sign are there! You act like you don't like my touch for _four months now_, and you had a guilty face on making it absolutely _clear_ that you certainly do not trust me at all!"

"Kurt no, you're misunderstanding! Please, baby, please believe me. I—"

"If you don't trust me, then why should I trust you?"

Blaine was speechless.

"Get out of my house." He said with such malice.

He stared at Kurt with wide eyes, once again portraying betrayal. "I'm sorry, I—" One look from Kurt told Blaine everything. He looked down guiltily, grabbed his things, and left.

Kurt crumpled to the floor, and sobbed his heart out.

xx

Blaine wasn't much better. He sobbed all the way home, barely being able to see where he was going. He made it without any incident though, fortunately. He stayed in his car for a while, head on the wheel while his hands were scrunched in his hair yanking it out, oddly finding comfort in the pain it caused. He composed himself as much as possible before walking inside, momentarily forgetting about the fact that he would be alone with his father today, and the danger that it caused after his not so recent confession.

He didn't forget for long.

"What's wrong faggot?" A taunting voice called from close by. Blaine froze. Slowly his head rose to meet that of his father's. He stumbled back in fear and surprise at the sudden closeness he had with his tormenter. His father's smirk only grew. "Hm, I came to get some beer from the kitchen and in stumbles a little piece of shit." Pause. "Hey, why don't you enlighten me, and come closer, _son_?" His voice held such disgust, that it frightened Blaine.

Slowly and hesitantly, Blaine came closer, until— "FASTER!" His father bellowed, and Blaine scurried to comply. Suddenly a punch came out of nowhere and landed Blaine in the gut. He doubled over as his father's laughter came not too shortly afterwards. A kick in the shin. An elbow in the back of the head. A push to the ground. A few kicks in the ribs, accompanied by a sickening crack. And a foot slamming into his chest.

His father's menacing voice followed as Blaine fought to stay conscious. "Get up, you're pathetic." He struggled to do as he was told. Once he gained his footing, wobbling on his feet, his father pushed him back down. Blaine grunted in pain, his head lolling around. "Now go to your room. I don't want to see your face for the rest of the night." He walked away.

Blaine hovered in and out of consciousness for a while, losing track of time. His eyes snapped open as a loud _thump_ echoed through the room, and he sat up in shock, immediately regretting it and fell back down with a loud grunt.

His thoughts immediately turned to panic and he automatically assumed his father was back for the finishing blow. He curled up in a ball and cowered away from every touch that went his way. Blaine started to hyperventilate out of an anxiety attack. He started coughing, at first dry heaving, but soon it turned to blood pouring out his lips as he kept coughing. He didn't notice.

Everything after was a blur. He felt so disgruntled. He barely recognized the sound of sirens… shouting… frantic, frantic… everything was frantic. He couldn't tell what was what but all he knew was pain.

Soon all the pain was gone as blackness enveloped him...

xx

It's been almost a week. No one's heard from Blaine, and he hasn't shown up anywhere, not even at school! Kurt was starting to get extremely frustrated. How dare he cower in guilt because of cheating on Kurt! He was the one who taught Kurt courage, so where was his? He didn't even dare to apologize.

At first, Kurt did nothing. But after three days of nonstop silence from Blaine, he told the Glee Club his situation and everyone got so mad at him, they all, including Kurt, started sending angry texts and phone calls that went straight to voicemail.

He would soon come to regret it.

xx

Kurt was only slightly worried, but he wouldn't dare admit it.

Blaine was nowhere to be found, and no one was able to contact him, not even his best friends at Dalton. It was nearing two weeks. At first when Kurt was thinking he was probably just cowering in guilt for cheating… he soon realized that Blaine would never cheat on him, after confessing his thoughts to Blaine's closest friends at Dalton, and he nearly got sick at the thought of doubting his own boyfriend. He deeply regretted every angry text and phone call he sent Blaine's way, and called him and text him again more times than he can count trying to take back his mean words, saying sorry and begging for forgiveness. Obviously he was going through some tough times, and didn't feel comfortable telling Kurt about it just yet. He knew now he just had to wait for the right time, be patient, and soon, he would know.

But now Kurt doubted even that would happen, as his boyfriend was not responding to anyone. His friends at Dalton had even gone to his house and they were told by his mother who was acting very strange and suspicious, worried even, that he was not home and would be unreachable for the time being.

Okay, Kurt admits it…. He's worried as hell.

xx

His eyes fluttered open. His vision was blurry, and the first thing he noticed was muffled voices. He couldn't tell from where, but they sounded so far away.

"_So…what… exact.. happened…_"

"_Yes… entered…. Drop... groceries… saw him….. immediately I_….." It got too quiet and he couldn't hear. Not that he could hear properly in the first place.

"_How long_…"

He tried sitting up, and a groan fell from his lips. The voices immediately stopped as his vision cleared enough to see his mother and a man in a white doctor's coat standing close by to him, both of them staring worriedly at him.

The doctor quickly shuffled close to him to check his vitals. Blaine flinched back violently as a hand came close to him and he covered his head in defense, whimpering and muttering apologies.

It was heartbreaking.

His mother nearly started crying as she murmured his name over and over. God, how could she not have noticed her husband beating up her own child? And the wounds have been there for nearly 4 months… She failed as a mother.

It seemed to take forever before Blaine realized he was not going to get hurt. He slowly removed his hands from protecting his head and noticed that the doctor had backed off quite a bit, and his mother was in tears. Guilt was in her eyes. He felt guilty himself for being the cause of that.

"Blaine sweetie, how are you feeling?" His mother asked softly.

The automatic answer came, "I'm fine."

His mother looked so distressed at his monotone voice. Once again he let the guilt consume him.

The doctor slowly approached, "Blaine," he said cautiously, "I'm just going to check your vitals. I'm not going to hurt you. Is that okay?" He stopped until he got an approval from Blaine. He hesitantly nodded, so the doctor came closer. He only did as he said he would. After he wrote things down, he smiled and said, "Blaine should be ready to leave in three days' time."

"Thank you, doctor." His mother murmured as the doctor left.

She sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed. She just looked at him with a sad expression, as Blaine's head was facing his hands grasping the scratchy blanket in his lap.

The both tried speaking at the same time.

"I'm sorr—"

"I'm so sor—"

Silence, as they both stared at each other in shock. His mother's face crumbled.

"Oh sweetie," She wrapped her arms around Blaine, who stiffened in return. His mother immediately let go, "Oh I'm so sorry! I completely forgot, you must still be in pain."

"Don't be sorry." He said quietly. "I should be, I—"

"—No! None of this is your fault, don't you dare blame yourself. If anyone's to blame it's your father." Blaine flinched at this, and his mother just reached to hold his hand. She continued, "And mine too, I didn't even notice. Oh, I've failed you as a mother, and I am so sorry." Blaine turned his head to look at her, and seeing her genuinely distraught caused the dam to break.

He started bawling and they wrapped their arms around each other simultaneously.

"I've always thought you just didn't care…" He murmured in her shoulder.

At this his mother started crying too. "No, Sweetie, no! I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the world."

She pulled him away and looked him in the eyes.

"Even more than dad?"

She smiled honestly and nodded.

He smiled too.

xx

Three days later came, and Blaine was having another panic attack. Hugging himself protectively, he started hyperventilating. _I can't see dad…. I can't see him…. What'll he do to me now that everyone knows…._

His mother rushed in, held him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. She was saying something, but Blaine was not processing anything but a mouth moving. Then the words came to him slowly.

"He's gone… not coming back…. Don't worry…. You'll be okay… I'm here…"

Slowly but surely he calmed down. He hadn't realized he said those things out loud, but he's glad he did because he's been too afraid to ask anyone about it until now.

"Where is he then?" He whispered.

She sat down on the bed and held his hand. "He left shortly after I found you in front of the door. I wasn't able to stop him before the police came, but he's never coming back, sweetie, so you don't have to worry about him anymore."

Blaine nodded but hesitated before asking his next question, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer, "Are the police searching for him?"

His mother hesitated too, "Yes, they are, so justice will be served properly, and so that he will go to jail."

"But that means court!" He shouted, fearful of having to see him again.

"I know sweetie, but listen. He told me that he's never coming back and to not bother searching for him. So I doubt they'll find him." She smiled reassuringly.

"…Ok." Blaine murmured.

The doctor knocked and then entered. "So, Blaine," He smiled, "You're all set to leave. But I don't suggest going to school right away, just get used to things at home first, and when _you_ think you're all ready to go back to school, then go." So once they signed some papers, they left.

The car ride back home was silent. The only thing disturbing it was Blaine's thoughts.

He kept wondering why no one ever visited. Especially Kurt. Surely someone would have found out somehow, but apparently not. But then, he remembered the fight he and Kurt had. His heart sank. Even though he misunderstood his flinching from pain for not wanting to be touched, he was sure Kurt would never want to speak to him again. And he felt so lonely. But he quickly squashed that feeling down.

No, he doesn't deserve to feel lonely. He should have trusted his boyfriend more and told him what was happening at home. He deserves to be ignored. He deserves this. It's his entire fault. He should have…

He fell asleep against the car window.

xx

The car slowed to a halt. Blaine stirred awake when the music stopped, briefly wondering when it turned on. He opened his eyes to see his mother smiling at him from the driver's seat.

"We're home." She said softly. He smiled back a little forcefully and nodded. They both got out of the car and headed inside the house.

As Blaine started going up to his room, his mother called him back over to her. So he turned around and saw her coming his way, holding his phone. "You got tons of messages, so I'm sure they're all worried." She smiled and handed it to him. He took it, nodded thanks and went back to his room.

His mother stared at his back a while, a bad feeling started to settle in her gut. She pushed it aside and went back to making dinner.

xx

32 texts and 24 missed calls in all.

Blaine decided to listen to the voicemails first. It started from the very first one sent his way by Kurt. Then Mercedes. And then Rachel. The next two were Kurt. And—he couldn't listen to anymore. It broke his heart. He didn't even bother reading the texts, already knowing what they would say. He threw his phone across the room and heard a _thump_ as he crumpled to the floor and into a ball. He started sobbing as quietly as he could, so he wouldn't worry his mom.

xx

Thirty minutes later, dinner was ready, and Blaine's mother called him down to eat.

Nothing.

She called out again while slowly walking towards his room.

Nothing but silence that seemed oddly placed.

Her gut twisted and dread started to creep into her chest. She ran to his room, and burst the door open. He was not there. But the light in the bathroom was on and the door was closed. She rushed over there and knocked loudly while she called out to him.

No answer.

She turned the door knob—thanked god it's unlocked—and there he was.

On the floor, with a bottle of pills scattered everywhere.


	2. Hanging by a String

**Warnings for this chapter: **Almost rape, but don't worry! Nothing happens, and it's not graphic at all.

xx

**TO DROWN A FISH**

_Chapter 2: Hanging by a String_

xx

She sat in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. Finally a doctor came out and called for her. She walked up to him and his next words made her knees give out on her as she cried into her hands.

"He's stable. He will be fine." She felt so relieved that she could scream it to the world. "You can visit him, if you'd like. He's not awake yet though."

She nodded as she stood up, with the help of the doctor. They walked down the corridor, the doctor telling her of her son's condition. She could barely concentrate on his words because all that was running through her mind was _my baby's going to be ok._

When they got to Blaine's room, she opened the door and the doctor gave her space and walked off to somewhere she didn't care to know because her son's eyes _were_ open and he was staring _right at her._

"Oh, _sweetie_," She nearly fell into the seat next to his hospital bed and held his hand. She started crying when she felt him gently grip her back. "I thought I was gonna _lose_ you." She said in despair.

Silent tears started streaming down Blaine's face when he realized the damage he could have done if he _had_ died. He pulled his mother into a bear hug, and murmured genuine apologies as she started sobbing even more after each one. He pulled her back by the shoulders and looked into her eyes, just as she had done last time he was here, and said firmly, "I promise you, I won't ever do it again. I made a huge mistake, because I realize now I would have lost you. And I will never," He shook her shoulders slightly, "ever, leave you. I swear that to you. I love you so much mom. And I am so sorry." His eyes held sincerity and his voice such honesty. _He's telling the truth_, his mother realized.

She squeezed her eyes shut to try and stop the tears as she nodded, and hugged her son once more. They held each other for what seemed like hours, when it was really only a few minutes. The tears had stopped and soon the doctor came in.

xx

They discussed lots of things, and in the end, Blaine was forced by the doctor to tell him the reason for his attempt at suicide. His mother looked confused as she interjected, saying that his friends at Dalton came over and asked for him and said that even the Glee Club was worried. _Especially_ Kurt. Blaine started crying as the doctor suggested listening to the rest of the messages and reading the texts. Blaine realized he didn't even give anyone a chance before he assumed they all said the same things… after all, his mother _had_ said they were worried as she gave him the phone back.

Once he had made sure the doctor knew he wasn't going to try anything like this again, he left after letting them know he'll be in the hospital for a little while longer to make sure his condition will stay stable.

His mother then handed him his phone. Blaine held his breath as he slowly reached for it. He released his breath once he decided to do what the doctor suggested. He read the texts firsts this time. Next were the rest of the missed calls.

The old ones were angry, but the newest ones were heart-wrenchingly honest, as apologies after apologies were given by the Glee Club. And Kurt, _god_ Kurt… Blaine felt so bad for not getting in contact with him sooner.

He was about ready to call Kurt when a text by said person came.

"_Blaine, everyone here is so worried. It's been three and a half weeks. We all miss you and we all hope you're okay. I'm really sorry about jumping to conclusions that night at my house. I should have never told you to leave. I hope you know that I trust you completely, and I know that when the time is right, you'll let me know what the REAL issue was. I understand now that there are certain issues that take time, and it must have been extremely serious for you to not trust me with letting me know yet. I wish you were here so I can comfort you, and I want to tell you that I absolutely mean it when I say I love you. –Kurt._"

Blaine was holding in his tears throughout all the other messages, but this one just made all his emotions pour out. He hadn't realized he's been away from everyone that long. He held his face in his hands as he cried his heart out murmuring "I love you's" that his mother couldn't understand, and after he calmed himself down, he realized he made his mother hysterical, and once she calmed down, he kindly asked her to leave so he could have a private conversation with someone.

The minute she closed the door, he called Kurt.

The phone picked up on the second ring as a frantic voice answered him, "Blaine, baby, is that you?"

He smiled softly, "I missed you so much Kurt." His voice was raspy from crying so much earlier.

"_God_, I missed you too, you have no idea. But Blaine, are you okay? Your mother said you won't be available for a while, but why? Where were you?"

"I'm okay now." He responded quietly.

"'Now'? Blaine? Baby, what happened?" Kurt asked worriedly.

"I—" He stopped, and Kurt waited patiently for him to continue, "Can I tell you in person?" He asked in a small voice that cracked with emotion.

"Of course, Blaine." Kurt said, and his voice nearly cracked with emotion as well. "Where are you? I'll come to you."

There was a long silence. Just as Kurt opened his mouth, Blaine muttered, "The hospital." Kurt gasped, and Blaine looked down in shame.

"I'll be right there, baby, hang on." Kurt's determined voice came through the speaker, and they said their goodbyes just as Blaine heard shuffling of feet, and wondered where Kurt was to have that many feet moving.

xx

Kurt was in the glee club when he got the call.

"Blaine, baby, is that you?" He answered frantically. Everyone quieted and stilled, intensely listening to the conversation.

"_God_, I missed you too, you have no idea. But Blaine, are you okay? Your mother said you won't be available for a while, but why? Where were you?"

Kurt sat down for a moment and went incredibly still as he said the next words with worry lacing his voice, "'Now'? Blaine? Baby, what happened?"

He waited patiently for a while, and then with emotion nearly cracking his voice he said, "Of course, Blaine." He got up and packed his things as he said, "Where are you? I'll come to you."

He stopped moving for a while, and everything was silent, until Kurt opened his mouth but instead of words, a gasp came. All the other occupants looked at each other worriedly, then back at Kurt as his determined voice went through the room and into the phone. "I'll be right there, baby, hang on."

He was running to the door as they said their goodbyes and hung up. Rachel followed him and held him by the arm stopping him from going out the door just in time, "Kurt! You can't just leave! We—"

"HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL!" Kurt screamed out. No one expected the outburst. Rachel, along with everyone else in the room, stood stock still as Kurt's quiet yet harsh tone spoke, "He just wants to tell me what happened in person, and I'll be damned if I let you stop me. This is all my fault! And I have to fix it, so let go of me."

She let go with a whisper, "It's everyone's fault."

He pretended not to hear as he ran off to his car.

xx

He burst into the room, scaring the living daylights out of the two occupants in the room.

"Blaine!" He bent over to hold his knees as he panted from running the whole way. "Blaine I—" He looked up, and saw Blaine… _and_ his mother. Everyone paused.

His mother smiled and stood, squeezing her son's shoulders as she said quietly, "I'll leave you two be."

She left and closed the door, and Kurt immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry, Blaine, I—"

"Don't worry," Blaine smiled reassuringly. This time though, nothing was forced. He scooted over in the hospital bed and patted a spot next to him, inviting Kurt to lay with him. He did so, and they held each other in their arms as Blaine told his story.

xx

It was about a week later that everything was basically back to normal. Blaine was back at school, and although the Glee Club didn't know the entirety of the situation (excluding Kurt) they were all supportive as ever. But the best part was that without his dad in the picture, his mother was no longer afraid to be supportive of his sexuality. Nothing could get any better than this…

Blaine was in his room when he heard the front door slam. _That's strange… Mother's home so_—his thoughts were interrupted by his mother screaming and a loud _bam_ then a _thump_. He immediately ran down the stairs to see what happened, forgetting his phone on the bed.

He saw his father standing over his mother, who had been knocked unconscious and was slumped on the floor with blood running down her head. Blaine noticed a spot of blood on the wall when his father's malicious drunken grin faced him. A beer bottle was on the floor.

"I just came to get my stuff... Why am I not welcome here? This is MY house, is it not?" He slurred his words as he stumbled over to Blaine, who was having trouble deciding whether to help his mom or to get away. His eyes flickered back and forth between his mother on the floor, his father, and the front door. His father noticed his dilemma, and smirked when he realized Blaine made his decision.

_I can't just abandon mom…. _Blaine concluded. He'll stay and fight against his father.

He looked into his father's eyes in defiance with the most courage he's ever had in his life. They were a couple feet away from each other, when his father stopped and frowned.

"You know… you can't run from me forever." Blaine's eyes widened with these words and as he was caught off guard, his father tackled him to the ground. The back of Blaine's head hit the stairs, and he saw stars, briefly blacking out, but woke back up once he felt a sudden rush of cool air on his lower end. He looked down and immediately fought against his father who had pulled Blaine's pants down to his knees. He punched his father in the face so hard he lost grip on Blaine's pants, who in turn tried to scoot away.

But he wasn't fast enough.

He could barely hear his father shouting over the sound of his heart beating in his ears about how he's a "_faggot_" and he "_should be liking this_" as he came back full force and grabbed Blaine's legs and yanked him back down, his head hitting the stairs multiple times, and he cried out as he once again blacked out for a moment. But that moment was long enough for his father to take hold of his wrists and keep them against the stairs with one hand while the other—

_SMASH_

The empty beer bottle broke against his father's head, and he collapsed against Blaine who grunted loudly at the sudden weight of his father. His mother screamed out angrily at his unconscious form while pulling him off of Blaine.

"NO ONE TOUCHES MY SON! _NO ONE!"_ She pulled Blaine away from his father and into a hug as she got her cellphone from her pocket and started calling 911.


End file.
